I woke up gently this morning and welcomed my 34th birthday. My neighbors unknowingly gave me a present by leaving their furry noise makers (chihuahuas) inside so I didnt have their “lovely” high-pitched serenade as my alarm clock.  It’s the simple things….

So many of you keep asking what adventure I have planned today or what kind of trouble I will find…. that is yet to be seen, but what I did start the day off with was a 7 mile run with my dog Marfa through the streets of Venice to the beach and the Santa Monica pier- up the stairs and back.  I love running with Marfa because it reminds me that even when you don’t have a chance in hell. You do.  http://www.kold.com/Global/story.asp?s=7777485 I am reminded to take the opportunities that present themselves and go with your gut. I am reminded to pick up strangers along the highway (not literally, mom!) because they will sometimes be the best of friends.

This morning as I made my balmy beach jog, I saw an old grey-haired man wrapped in a cardigan assisted by a cane slowly walkin’ hand in hand with his little fragile wife. I saw some young loves makin’ out on the pier, and I saw a little pig-tailed child run into a crowd of sea gulls with reckless abandon, and I somehow related to them all. I felt such a sense of contentment- I have those feelings inside already.  In due time they will play out with the right person in the right place. I am sure.

Today’s run wasn’t so much for exercise, but rather to work out the midnight parade of thoughts that have been twirling and floating in my head when the night goes black.  I needed some daylight and pavement and I needed the thoughts to see some light.  It is just the time of year- my birthday to make me think about where I am today- where I have been and where I am going.  Thoughts of “home” play a huge role…  So I listened to Waylon, CCR, some bluegrass and some Willie because they all take me to a place called home… It is the spirit of home and family….oh and I did stop to smell a big bright pink rose- because that is where Marfa decided to fertilize the pavement. It’s all about balance……

I grew up in the hills, or rather hollers of Eastern Kentucky in a coal mining town where AM ruled the airwaves, dogs rode in the front seat of pick-up trucks and Friday night high-school football games were the center of entertainment. Yes, I was a cheerleader, but only because I was a gymnast and could do flips and no I wasn’t popular.  I didn’t tease my bangs (which was a requirement to be cool) and I stayed up late watching night flight music videos because we didn’t have MTV at my house.  Sundays meant church in the morning and the sound of my cousin shooting his gun in the afternoon or hearing his ultralite plane about to land in the front yard and life consisted of a lot of fried chicken and popcorn both at home and at the movies where I often went by myself.  I dreamed of California because it was where stories came to life on the screen and words had emotion and pictures were the things that made me excited. It was in my heart- so here I am today.  That isn’t to say I have had a lot of “in- betweens” because I have- I have lived in a lot of places over the years- Montana, Oregon, San Francisco, Santa Barbara, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Taos, New York, Sydney, Australia, Dallas and Austin.   Austin still holds a significant piece of my heart. I miss the grit and the creativity in that big small town. I miss the music and the boots that are scuffed and have purpose. Whatever that purpose may be. I miss my chickens. I try not to miss all the people and places even though I can rarely escape from doing so. When I do, I have to remind myself to take note of it and ask why- because it gives me a clue whether I’m on the right road…..

So, in  the spirit of birthdays, I have been wished well from friends both old and new and from family far away. The wishes started with a call from one particular friend who doesnt use Facebook but always remembers my birthday. He reminded me that we have now known each longer than when we didnt and it made me feel happy. So in honor of Led Zeppelin- Thank You- to you all. If I had a rocking chair and a front porch I would be sittin’ on that porch happy as a camper with the world waiting.

On another note- I have just returned from Park City, Utah where I managed to stay for the duration of the Sundance Film Festival.  Sleep wasnt something I caught up on and 4 am became the new 10 pm.  I had an incredible time hearing the Echo of gravity and putting it on paper, playing tic-tac-toe in the Off Season, being grabbed on the way to coffee by the Violent Kind, drinking whiskey with my beautiful bitch and learning the complexities of Patron when delivered in a rubber shot glass. I returned to Venice to have pizza, sushi and froyo accompanied by a myriad of drinks and some lovely company and yes, you all know who you are.  Next stop- NYC next week and then Paris. Stay tuned.

My Freshman year of college I was walking down the hallway of my dorm, going about my evening, no doubt thinking about what i would eat for dinner or if I remembered my notes for my upcoming Spanish exam when I forcefully smashed through the heavy industrial door with all my 5’2 self like a bull in a rodeo coming out of its gate. As I blew into the cold cement stairwell I stopped dead in my tracks. The feeling that occured was like being in a deep sleep and the alarm goes off to wake you or like stepping out of a cozy house where you have been warmed by a fire 4 logs deep and into a cold Montana -10 degree night.  You are instantly aware. You are instantly informed you are alive because you feel.

What I felt was her voice in my ears. I stood quiet at the top of the landing not moving in fear I might disrupt the voice that was echoing off the walls.  It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. I felt like I had just walked into a secret canyon where there was so much beauty that I felt like I was drunk. As I listened I was stirred and moved.

Her words echoed a feeling in my heart that I hadnt been able to articulate… this is what I heard:

Up on the tower I thought she would jump ‘cause she square both her toes up to the edge. She turned and she saw and she said as she smiled, “It is not that I long to be dead. It is just that I long to dive and fly, dive and fly.” My mind turned in her head to stillness of sound, to a wind walking after its meal. And down in the valley the thunder’s resound made me feel as bad as you feel.

Up on the tower I thought she would jump ‘cause she square both her toes up to the edge. She turned and she saw and she said as she smiled, “It is not that I long to be dead. It is just that I long to dive and fly, dive and fly.” My mind turned in her head to stillness of sound, to a wind walking after its meal. And down in the valley the thunder’s resound made me feel as bad as you feel.

But that is just when I long to dive and fly, dive and fly… Why, then, do I take back my heart in the morning?

And has there been a girl quite as lonely as I am? Why, then, won’t our spirits touch when our bodies can? Why, then, is there so much of gravity in the mountains? There’s so much of gravity in the mountains. There’s so much of gravity in the mountain. Up on a bridge with a bracelet of stone hanging out over fingertips high. If I were to drop this would you writhe and moan, lose your faith in me till we died? Dive and fly, dive and fly…

I listened and somehow felt like a thief who had just been given a gift by the owners of the house he was burgularizing. Tears filled my eyes and my heart burst with the beauty of her voice that had touched it.  It was my own stolen concert in a dimly lit stairwell.

I don’t think I ever told Jennifer Daniels about this moment so I’m telling her now… I won’t ever forget that moment or those lyrics as I have carried them around with me all over the world.

Let’s Talk Amongst Ourselves

Just did the photography for this awesome bus for Law Smith’s comedy tour! Love that it’s like an old skooool bread truck! Gotta love bread and breasts!

Inhale

The morning air

Open your mind and exercise the unleashed freedom you hold

Wide eyes sparkle with curiosity

People, Places no longer unknown

Embrace your youthful spirit 

And go out. Get out.

Exploration consumes your thoughts

Finding beauty

Exhale

as you lay your head down

Again tomorrow

Charlotte Burgess was my best friend at boarding school. A native Texan, who I met on the tennis court my sophomore year. I remember it vividly- it was a crisp fall Tennessee day, and we had an instant connection. Our first conversation lasted for hours- it stretched into days and it eased into years.

I think of that moment because as I start this new blog I hope to create that with you. A friendship that will be sparked by commonalities and deepened by our differences. I want to share my perspectives and my world. I want you to see life through my eyes and I want to hear it through your words and feedback.

The world has gotten smaller for me, but my experiences have gotten bigger. I still have an insatiable urge to peek under the rocks, to drive a little further and to take the alternate route. I want to jump into things, and have a new desire to jump off things and fly a little…

I will prod a conversation deeper than what some are comfortable with, but I want something that is bigger than just the surface and if you will go with me- I am excited to share the journey.